I've debated on how to share this. Started numerous posts but never finished them. It's been three months since I posted last, and more has happened during those months than ever before.
As some of you may know, and some of you I'm sure don't know, in the middle of October I was diagnosed with cancer. Colon cancer. I had some irregular bleeding and went to the doctor to get it checked out. After a few doctor's visits, I went in for a colonoscopy during which the doctor found a large polyp. He decided to do the procedure the following day to remove it. For the first time in my life I spent the night in the hospital, and I was alone, in a foreign country, understanding little of the language around me. The next day, I spent most of the day alone as most of my friends had to teach during the day. I knew I could have called other friends and they would have rushed to be by my side. But for some reason I didn't. It was probably the hardest day. But on that day, I realized how God can fill a void completely. If someone had been sitting with me, talking to me, listening to me, I would not have sat with my Father, listened to Him, shared with Him. So what started out as a tearful night alone turned into a powerful testimony of God's peace and presence.
The procedure went without complications and I spent another day in the hospital recovering and then had to take a few days off of work to stay home and heal. The polyp was sent to the pathologists who did the biopsy to determine whether the tumor was malignant or benign. The days waiting for the results were excruciating. I spent hours each day in God's Word and in prayer, seeking His peace and His comfort. And He provided it in an abundance I never would have dreamed of. At any moment through those days, the doubts and fears and anxiety would begin to fill my mind. But I was able to turn right back to the Word and remember God's promise to never leave or forsake me.
When I finally got word that the results were finished, I went in to get the results, only to find out they were inconclusive and more testing had to be done. So I waited some more. The community around me was wonderful. My friends made sure I was never alone if I didn't want to be. My co-workers sent me notes of encouragement. My life group was a constant prayer support. People I hardly knew were praying for me and offering their homes to me. So even though my family was a world away, God had provided an amazing group of people to pull me through.
On October 31, the results finally came back, and the tumor was malignant. But my two doctors differed on their interpretation of the pathologist's results. Not a comforting feeling when your life is at stake. Was all of the cancer removed? Is there a possibility that it had spread already? Do I need to have additional treatments? The questions came like an avalanche. But once again, God provided. An administrator at the school has a friend who is a well-respected Singaporean cancer specialist. He happened to be in Jakarta, at my hospital, and she got me an appointment.
After explaining to him my situation and having him look at the pathologist's reports, he offered to take my polyp back with him to Singapore and have his friend take a look at it. In a few days, I got a call from the nurse.
The results were finished. And the cancer was contained only in the outer layers of the polyp. It would not have spread.
I am cancer free.
Cancer is a scary word. Living with cancer is a scary thought. But God's timing is perfect. It's a blessing that they caught the cancer early. That I am in a situation where the entire process, from the initial doctor's visit until I got the final cancer-free result, only took about five weeks. I had the cancer removed before I even knew I had cancer.
It honestly feels like a dream now. I haven't been to the doctor since. My life goes on as normal. I signed on for another year at SPH. I continue to take unbelievable extravagant vacations. My parents came to visit. And through all of this, I have to remind myself, I had cancer. I am a cancer survivor. I wonder what the point of this was. It taught me a lot, yes. But I'm holding on to the hope that God has an eternal purpose for my short battle. That He will use my experience, however short, to further His Kingdom.
One verse, one verse of the hundreds that spoke to me during this time, was Romans 12:12.
Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, fervent in prayer.
